8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
