Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
