Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
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