You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
