Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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