I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
