Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
