How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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