Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
She just used a chaser for red wine.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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