I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
