IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
