I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
