She's JV to your varsity
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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