What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
