we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
