I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize
