need another drink. this is the easiest way
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
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Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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