You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
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