She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
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