im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
