Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
