i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
