I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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