he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize