True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
