either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
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