Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
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I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
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4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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