I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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