Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
