I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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