i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Will exercising make me less horny?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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