did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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