I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
