"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
