I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize