Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
