Moan for me like Helen Keller
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Randomize
