he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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