i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Operation Purity has been aborted
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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