I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize