Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
