Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Text me some of your sweat
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