the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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