69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
