At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
