just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Randomize
