She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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