lets start a swedish sibling band together
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
