his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
But theres a keg here and me gusta
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
