he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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