i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
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