sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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