My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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