Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
