Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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