some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
