we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
