Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize