I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
