are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Randomize
