I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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