Life is so much better after having sex.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
cat food counts as protein by the way
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
