He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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