No subtext here. People are naked.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
