Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
