The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
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